3 Techniques to Conquer Online Learning for Modern Parents

Nowadays, we can see that many parents do not have enough time to spend with their children. Therefore, parents need to make the most of the limited time they have. One of the most common problems parents face is that their children do not listen to what they teach. In fact, parents should try to reflect and ask themselves “Are we, as parents, listening to our children enough?”

Especially during the period when children have to study online from home, the opportunity to talk with friends decreases, but it is replaced by parents or guardians who act as social support for the children during online learning. If we cannot adapt to this learning method in time, it may cause online learning to be less effective than expected. Today, we have some good techniques to share with new parents on what to do if they want online learning to be as effective as it should be.

• Attentive Listening and Open Conversation (Active-Open)

Listening and talking may seem like small things, but they are the foundation of relationships and building trust between parents and children. If we want our children to listen and follow what we teach, first we must make them feel trusted and brave enough to come and talk to us. Attentive listening is one way to show children that we understand and are always ready to help them, no matter what problems they face. Good listening means parents must pay attention, importance, and understanding to every communication from their children, whether it is words, tone of voice, eye contact, facial expressions, or gestures. Good listening is not listening to children while watching TV, reading friends’ messages, or washing dishes, etc.

Examples of phrases parents should use

To give children the opportunity to express their emotions and feelings by showing understanding, such as

• “Thank you for trusting mom/dad and telling me these things.”
• “Mom/Dad understands how frustrating the situation you’re facing is.”

And using open-ended questions to allow children to tell more about their stories, such as

• “What did you do next at that time?”
• “What do you think mom/dad can help you with right now?”
• “What do you plan to do next?”
• “How long have you had this problem?”
• “Does anyone else know about this besides mom/dad?”

Examples of phrases to avoid!!!

• “It’s just a small thing, nothing to worry about.”
• “Stop thinking about it.”
• “I don’t understand why you’re crying.”
• “That’s not true.”
• “You must not think like that.”

Because these phrases deny the child’s feelings and experiences, which can cause the child to not want to approach or listen to our teachings.

Moreover, attentive listening and open conversation can help children not to suppress their feelings and also prevent aggressive and violent behavior. Additionally, active listening and open conversation can enhance the effectiveness of the other two methods as well.

• Building Discipline Together (Routine)

When children have to study online from home, the first thing parents can do is to create an environment in the room where the child studies online to help the child be in the right mood for learning. One way to do this is by establishing discipline or a daily routine for each week.

Many studies have proven that children perform tasks or activities better when they have discipline or a routine that they can follow. The chance that children will follow the routine increases if they participate in creating the routine. This is one reason why open conversation is very important because parents can openly agree with their children on when they should not play on the phone, play games, watch YouTube, or watch TV. If children believe that the rules are within their ability, the chance that they will follow the rules created together will be higher.

Another thing that should be included in the routine is allocating about 10–15 minutes to prepare before online learning, such as checking or preparing equipment like computers, headphones, chargers, as well as turning off the TV, putting away mobile phones, and going to the bathroom before starting class.

Finally, parents should not forget to update the routine with their children every week. Children should be involved in giving feedback if something is too difficult or too easy. This method is suitable for parents who do not have enough quality time with their children because creating a routine is a good activity that parents can do with their children without spending much time and without affecting other family activities.

• Supervising Children’s Learning with Boundaries (Boundary)

It is believed that all parents care about their children’s learning. However, what we all need to be careful about is not crossing the child’s boundaries to the point that the child feels like they are being constantly monitored or judged. Feeling monitored repeatedly may make the child feel like they are being punished. Some children may feel afraid, such as fear that their parents will not be proud of them or fear that they are not good enough in their parents’ eyes. When these feelings occur frequently during learning, the child’s effort and motivation to study may decrease, which will affect their academic performance.

Examples of phrases to avoid!!!

• “Other kids aren’t lazy like you.”
• “Why don’t you study as hard as this friend?”
• “You just play games, that’s why your grades are like this.”
• “If your friends do better, it means you’re not trying hard enough.”

Although every action parents take comes from concern and wanting their children to do well, they should also carefully consider the child’s perspective. There is only a thin line between the child seeing what we do as “kindness” or “criticism”, which depends on the attitude and communication style of the parents.