“Perfectionist” For those who love to live this way, you are probably someone who has achieved success and received praise to some extent, whether in work or life. But have you ever felt that these compliments actually feel like a heavy weight pressing down on your shoulders, carrying the expectations of others until it ultimately becomes self-imposed pressure? Although perfection seems to have a positive meaning, making you appear organized in life, being “too precise” in life may cause your (mental) health not to be as perfect.
Let’s self-assess Is this level of “perfect” you?
- Whatever you do, you usually have clear goals.
- You notice small mistakes that others often overlook.
- When you achieve a set goal, you immediately set a new one.
- You often blame yourself whenever mistakes happen or things don’t go as planned.
- You feel uneasy, irritable, and moody when things don’t go as you want.
- You tend to procrastinate starting anything because you worry you won’t do it well enough.
- You may get stuck doing something for a long time just because you think it could be done better or it’s not good enough yet.
Perfectionists… actually have origins
- Neglected or ignored Humans fundamentally need social connection. Being neglected or ignored in childhood is one cause that drives us to develop ourselves to become the center of attention, to receive love and praise.
- Family expectations, everything must be flawless Because a child’s success makes parents extremely proud, many families unknowingly create conditions that their children must succeed. Eventually, the children struggle to meet these expectations and end up hating mistakes.
- Frequently compared It’s good to use successful people as inspiration, but not! Using their success to pressure and compare, asking why you can’t be like this or that, is another factor that makes you a Perfectionist without realizing it.
Too precise… mental health may be at risk!
A life surrounded by admirable success and strength that shines in the eyes of others but feels empty and lonely inside. This is what Dr. Margaret R Rutherford, a psychiatrist who has studied this for over 25 years, defines as
a syndrome of depression caused by addiction to perfection or Perfectly Hidden Depression
This syndrome seems to have mild symptoms. You may not feel deeply depressed, may never have shed tears, nor have any suicidal thoughts in your memory because you hide your sadness beneath success. The accumulated stress gradually erodes you from within, from both self-expectations and societal expectations. You never allow yourself the freedom to break free from the cycle of perfection. You walk every day with the words “I must do better,” “It would be better to do it this way,” in an endless loop. These are what create pain, the loss of freedom to live as you should, which can unknowingly lead to hidden depression.
If you are wondering whether you are “at risk”, try taking Dr. Margaret’s questionnaire here