Being attached to friends may not be a behavior that parents like, but from the perspective of learning social skills, friends are the ones who make children feel valuable and important. Therefore, having friends is considered a necessity for children. However, parents need to learn how to properly handle the behavior of being attached to friends!!
Friend attachment behavior… according to each age group
1. In early childhood to older children Children may not have much problem with being attached to friends because this is the age when children focus on their studies. However, if children are always attached to friends and rarely stay at home, it may be due to several factors such as:
- Failure to succeed in studies, causing children to lose motivation to focus on learning and instead gather to play with friends.
- The living conditions or parenting style where guardians allow children to go anywhere without setting boundaries or time limits, such as letting them know when they should play at home and why they should not go outside. Children will not learn about their responsibilities or how to manage their time properly.
2. In adolescence Being attached to friends is seen as a normal development because teenagers feel grown up and want independence, self-reliance, and their own opinions. They think they do not need to rely much on family and want acceptance from outsiders. Teenagers will start wanting to do more activities outside the home. Sometimes they argue with family members to express their opinions and interact less with their family, which causes some parents to worry because when they talk or teach their children, the children often argue and misunderstand, making parents fear that their children might grow up to be bad people.
How should parents handle children attached to friends?
- Parents should accept and understand that this is a normal development in children. They should listen more to their children’s opinions without trying to control them too much. Use suggestions and advice to help children think carefully about many aspects and choose their own methods based on their considerations. This helps children manage the consequences of their actions.
- If children associate with friends who have risky behaviors such as skipping school, risky sexual behavior, involvement with cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, or fighting, parents should regularly and continuously monitor their children while maintaining a good relationship and listening to them. Having a good relationship will make children think of their family and remember the warnings, prohibitions, and rules at home, which helps reduce risks.
- Cooperate with teachers to monitor children, relatives, and neighbors to care for children in risky groups to reduce risks and increase safety.
- Give importance to family relationships. If family relationships are poor, with quarrels, bad language, and emotional outbursts causing children to feel uncomfortable and distressed, children will want to leave home and seek friends more because they want happiness, comfort, and acceptance from friends or outsiders. Since the home atmosphere is unpleasant, improving the home environment to be more livable and reducing conflicts will help children not be overly attached to friends.
- Encourage children and their friends to participate in beneficial activities appropriate for their age, allowing them to fully use their knowledge and abilities and be useful to the community. With parental support to help children showcase their abilities, this will help reduce risks when children are with their friends.
Dr. Chonnipa Kaewpoolsri
Specialist in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Child and Adolescent Health Center, Phyathai 2 Hospital
